The Last Goodbye...

It's almost like yesterday that i held mum's hand and walked proudly to my first day of school...the excitement of that day and each day that followed still jumps in my heart. It's almost like yesterday that i got my first punishment for talking in class or forgetting to do my homework. It's almost like yesterday when i made my first friend, or when i got in my first fight. Twelve years have passed as quick as the leaves rushed to fall from all the trees in a pale autumn, and now, in a blink of an eye, the last leaf is falling...it's the last year, the last month, and now the last day. It's such a harsh fact, such a difficult way...that now we're actually kissing school days goodbye! I don't want to say goodbye...I want to stay young forever...but of all things that life can give us, reality comes stealing time away...Kindly enough, it leaves us with only the memories of the beautiful most amazing seconds that we shared through all the hard times, through the pain, the laughter, and the tears...

Now that it's the end, i regret the days i wished school didn't exist...and i treasure each and every moment, and the blessing of the wonderful angels I've met along this long journey...I wish i could tell everybody how much i'll miss them now that we're going on our seperate ways...now that we reached the end of this stream with the millions of different roads...For the first time, we're actually making an important decision that our future counts on...and it gives me so much pain to think we are no more kids running in the playground chasing each other with no worries on our small minds...it hurts me to think we are no more the teenagers with the stupid stories and the silly problems planning for chaos and rebels against the grown ups...Now we are the grown ups we never wanted to be...now we are the adults with our independent minds...Maybe it's a good thing to feel a little free in making our own decisions...But will there ever be teachers following us non stop, reminding us of the classes we always forget, controlling us when we lose our minds and our ways...Who will be there to guide us through the hard times? Who will be there to remind us everytime we forget? Who will be there to make sure we don't fall...to hold our hand and lead us back when we are mistaken? Who will keep our mouths shut when we talk nonsense and never seem to stop? But most of all...Who will be there to draw the borders and keep us safe now that we are so small in a world so big???...It gives me the fright to think that we are now like little drops of water in an ocean so wide...It's a scary huge world...so are we ready? Are we ready to walk out the gates and face real life? Are we ready to let go? Let go of our classrooms, of our desks...Let go of all the corners around the school, the stories each step and corner tells. Are we reallly ready to let go of the hand of all the teachers that led us through painful and boring classes we never wanted to attend, and which we never knew could brighten our thoughts? Are we ready to let go of all our friends...all the memories of running away from classes? of all the times we planned hand by hand for something great to let us be heard...Are we ready to let go and say our last goodbye knowing that this time when we walk outside the gate we're never ever coming back?

I'm left alone now confused with all these thoughts and wonders that haunted me day and night...I wonder if it's too late now to wish for just one another day, just one last day with all the people i love...One last math class...one last break...one last tear...and one last laugh...I wonder if it's too late now to tell everybody i hurted i'm sorry, and to all my teachers i'll miss you...and to all my friends i love you...

I hope all our words of friendship don't just fade with the sunset of our last day in school...I hope that everybody knows that it might really be the last second now passing through the clock...but that it definetly does not mean that this is the end of our devotion and love for each other. It hurts me...it kills me...it eats me inside that it's all over now...but no matter what...and through all the phases of our lives we will be friends now...and until that cruel clock stops ticking!!!

PEACE Y'ALL